I'm not sure what the answer is. Someone who genuinely didn't care for someone wouldn't do all these things. When you least expect it he will come along, all you need to remember is this child isn't going to hurt you like you've been hurt...maybe do small activities with your little boy and build up a stronger bond from where I'm sitting you have trust issues but with your son it's different than any man. I would get yourself on a course ASAP and then try practicing it with your children. I know typically when a couple split up the children live with their mother, but I can't help but want to split up with my boyfriend and leave my son to live with him. This thread has been a revelation for me. I think you probably need to address your past maybe with counselling? I told him that if he wanted to help her and live with her than he could move out into his own place with her and we would just not live … Well done for putting reaching out to someone with all your feelings it must be so hard for you keeping all this bottled up. She upsets me every day. All nice calming things you can do together that will give them attention. He's a good kid, typical 5 year old who is complete bum hole at times but he does everything I ask of him with very little fuss but I just can't seem to love him, it sounds completely stupid but I am so cold hearted these days that I couldn't care less if he is here or not and I feel awful about it but It's true, I can't wait for him to go to bed (which he does without argument) , I can't wait for him to go to his dads but when he does I sit around feeling so lonely and usually go out clubbing purely to fill the time! I used to think of myself as a good mum, but I feel like this behaviour must be my fault so I must not be very good at it after all. We had just been told he's got anxiety he's 6, maybe if you took your little boy to the doctors and explained how he behaves there might be underlying issue that's not been picked up. Hi Jenny, I'm Loraine, one of the netmum's parent supporters. Maybe do a sponsored silence with them. I'm constantly shouting at her and have smacked her a few times (though not overly hard) just out of sheer frustration. my mom and dad are still married but they argue a lot. To cut a long story short. I know I'm going to sound incredibly entitled but my parents aren't exactly present in my life and anytime they are they push me to live with them. At 6 she was diagnosed with ADHD and I strongly suspect that it was hereditary from her biological father. So my life at home is really difficult for me at the moment because I am struggling with my relationships with both of them. Learning positive parenting techniques might help. I like you give my kids everything I can. My daughter-in-law’s parents live three hours away. I Don’t Want to Live Anymore: 11 Ways to Get Unstuck 1. I pay for them, make sure they eat healthy food, are doing well at school, put in boundaries and try my best to love them. 2. My daughter is 3 and doesn't listen to me or do anything I ask. I know there are a lot of parenting cynics out there. They've told me to get out of their house before and I would if I had the chance because I'm a strong girl and I could definitely do it, I just have nowhere to go. I know we are completely different people with different situations but I'm just giving you my opinion from my experience xx hope you sort things. You have been severely abused and this has lead to you not loving yourself which is being projected onto your son as the cause. You all need help and your daughter is struggling to manage her emotions in a safe and effective way and you have said that she is now feeling suicidal. My husband is not really very helpful but he tries to be supportive to me. I can't relax for a moment for fear of one of them doing something. It might help you cope better and calm your children, improve your bond and give you a technique to practice when everything gets too much and you need a breath of fresh air. 3. In addition, your child may be able to tell the court that he/she doesn’t want to live with you, but … I don't want to live with her anymore. Anon (2401180) Posted on 18-04-2017 at 9.40PM . I haven't a clue what I am doing here but I just don't know where to turn as a daren't admit this to anyone I know! Could you make an appointment to see your GP this week? And yet it's normal for dads to leave! i am so confused, tired and sick. Sent from my iPhone using Netmums mobile app. They are only like they are towards you with the abuse because they feel horrible inside and project it onto you. I firstly could not imagine having to deal with his behaviour while having to look after a newborn. He used to be so well behaved in public, people would actually comment on it. noone can judge you it sounds a nightmare an I mean no wonder your depressed an its not your fault how you feel , all kids can be annoying an stuff but your daughter has some problems id guess but she cant be all bad , even her dad cant have been all bad as you liked him at one point he was drug taker but I think most people take drugs when they have problems mental issues ect I dont think all good things about my son thats just the truth no child is perfect your younger one will have some bad points aswell but I guess you cant know what the younger ones flaws are yet as their too young, maybe you shouldnt try so hard to pretend to like your daughter as why would you like someone who does horrible things to you , she has a mum who puts up with her still looks after her you didnt give her up or anything , got no advice I dont know what your meant to do but you have carried on with it for ten years I suppose she is getting older and if things dont improve with help well you dont have to live with her once she is older. Substance abuse. These were on Ritalin for their condition and were coming off it for a couple of days a week after practicing the mindfulness meditation and sitll maintaining good behaviour at school. I don’t want to be together 24/7. The Netmums forum is currently in read-only mode while we roll out some updates. I'm totally loosing the will to live and would rather be dead than have to inflict my daughter with the awful mother that I am. It has massively improved behaviour and learning in the school, plus the children are fitter and winning all the sporting events. I want you to live. I can vouch for the fact that it does work. I love spending time with you, but I’m not a clingy person. The guilt is eating me whole, I haven't managed to make her happy and I don't even like her and struggle to love her. I suppose I'm just looking to see if anyone else has every felt anything similar, otherwise I must just be a terrible person :(. My husband is have them for the first time in over 9 months, next week. Tell your child: Loraine x, I think you're suffering from PTSD. I won’t feed you some bullshit like it’s all going to be OK with time because it may not be, and it may not turn out as you wish, but you will never know if you don’t stick around to find out. Help! I then started trying to write freelance at home but had to stop because of the stress and her constant drama. Sounds like he has some stresses in his life, I imagine he is struggling with hormones & changes as he is going through puberty, let alone all of the wild & scary things that are out there in social media and school and so on. Sometimes, people thinking, “I don’t want my child to live with me anymore” don’t necessarily want to terminate their parental rights — but they do wish for a break from parenting to better their situation. Helping other people, achieving something impossible? I just feel like I'm not getting any enjoyment out of it at all. Are your children getting enough exercise is the other thing. However, thinking about your unfortunate past will only instigate the feeling of bitterness and sadness. My daughter is 3 and doesn't listen to me or do anything I ask. Children express resistance to staying with their other parent in different ways. It took practice and to be taught how to do it and several weeks perservering with it. If you're facing this situation, the following article discusses ways to help you understand where your child is coming from and how you can cope with the changes. I would love to chuck her out... but those are just feelings. Like you, the dread that enters me when the weekend comes and I know they are going to be home is just more than I can bear. I just felt that I had this huge responsibility of a tiny life and I would do my damned best no matter what. So my life at home is really difficult for me at the moment because I am struggling with my relationships with both of them. Enjoy the things he enjoys. by Gary Direnfeld I suppose I better start with a bit of a back story, I am a single mum (26) of a 5 year old and have been for 2 years! As a parent you ARE responsible for your child until they turn 18. EVERYTHING is drama. He lives too far away. His aunt is a very opinionated woman. I find myself wanting to love them but I just can't. Hopefully their door will open and when it does, bite your tongue and listen with an open mind and heart. Oh my to have an x that shares in the responsibility of bringing up the children would be a dream. Their behaviour sucks!!!! I'm juggling so many plates and trying to do my best. It's usually punches or kicks, but when I don't rise to that, like I'll just ignore him to not give him any attention, he will bite me. I'm 24, and my son is 3 yrs old. I spend my whole life feeling guilty because I don't like her and I don't want her. I know it would never happen though because I couldn't live with the shame of it. See the GP about depression if that is the case and take some proper treatment. Both of my parents live with me and my husband plus my 35 year old son and his 11 year old daughter and another granddaughter who is17 (four generations)! If I didn't bring him in, it would have have looked bad for me. You do Love your son your just disappointed in going it alone and hence why you don’t put effort into your time with him. Mc 5 years ago ⭐️. This is something that you should be really proud of. I have tried to commit suicide once because of something my husband said to me about wanting to have an affair with my … I was on autopilot and felt a complete disconnect and I was EXHAUSTED. It may be very hard, but don't get caught up in your feelings. We have no sex life, we never get a break. I'm Katie, one of the parent supporters here. I’d suggest you spend more time with your son as mine grew up and time was lost. My sons are 6ft boys and I dread to think what damage they could do to me if they ever hit me. Keep chatting to us here jenny and let us know how your appointment goes - we're always here to listen and will support you in what ever way we can. Social services aren't interested because she isn't at risk from us as parents I obviously have done a crap job of parenting her because now she is suicidal. I know that sounds so awful but that is how I feel. I am depressed. If your child announces that they want to live with your ex, it can bring up a mix of emotions—even if the announcement doesn't come as a total surprise. And you may of fallen out of love with your partner or it may just be that you are feeling so down that you have pushed him away i some times felt that way. I have been separated from him for just over a year now. I cry all of the time. You can contact them HERE . Don't judge me or write your bad comment here, pls. She keeps saying she wants to die when things get tough. Clubs etc is no place to meet a nice good man in my opinion it's unlikely. This is something that you should be really proud of. I just feel like everyone would be better off that way. My youngest is a different story, she is happy and loving and I love her as a mother should do and more. No one bats an eyelid when they do. I'm starting to feel resentful and I don't look forward to spending time in my home anymore. What we're your parents like? I do care but I don't love them and that guilt is killing me. I hope you can find some support that will help you. I take the pills but all the pills in the world can't fix this. I was very young when I met him and he was 20 years my senior. I know that if I say no to him then I've got some sort of attack coming to me. I have tried every parenting tip in the book, form nice to cross. I see to there every need. I am 46yrs old, married for 28 yrs., 2 children 1-13yrs. I don't need them to do it for me, I do it for myself all day every day. It was always obvious that she was different but it took a lot of fighting with GPs to be referred for a diagnosis. She has put holes in my doors, broken my things, she screams and she wails strange, haunting wails and NOTHING I ever say or do changes anything. I'm struggling financially, emotionally and my physical health is suffering. I can't live with her anymore. Obviously I can't talk to anyone about any of these feelings because they would automatically judge me and assume the worst. I feel a horrible person in my own home. Anyway, like you I am sitting here with tears running down my face at what I am about to say, but i don't want my children anymore. The birth was a traumatic C-Section, the pain relief didn't work properly and I could feel the surgeons hands inside me and they had to put me under general anaesthetic. But it sounds like you’re stuck between 2 different lives-1 as mummy and 1 as the new you who has the freedom to do what she wants now you’re free of your abusive past. It’s the place I go when you annoy the hell out of me or I’m angry. Reply. As it turns out, she looked just like her father from the day she was born. But it's a logical and normal reaction to how you're feeling and what you're going through. Pregnant 8 Weeks IVF Rainbow baby Get help_ your hv can help till child is 5, or if your son is at school then they will have a pastoral support worker. A. I hope you can find some support that will help you. We have had to lock her outside several times in the garden because she has been so violent and out of control in the house. (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk) ‘I don’t want to live anymore but I’m scared to die’ is one of the most-searched mental illness confessions on Google. I don't want to live with her anymore. Could that be an option? 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